Author Archives: tor

Vector autopsy: TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA! Bullets!

I had an awesome idea the other day. I have a technical description assignment due Saturday at midnight, so I was like: I should throw away my mediocrely organized, but ambitiously scaled project and pick something simple that I can also do awesome art for.
So I called up one of my boys who had some […]

Abomanations against nature: Giant gummy bear (on a stick)

God’s most perfect creation, the gummy bear, has been defiled by heathens. Please regard the following:
 
I love gummy bears, but this looks unappetizing. Like when you have a flavor of chips you really love, then you eat half a bag and your tounge starts hurting. And  it’s not like you can save a gummy bear […]

Is there any non-evil Google can’t do?

Google Calculator is, perhaps, man’s greatest accomplishments that nobody really recognizes. It’s great for simple math, percent chance and the like, but it also does amazing unit conversions.
Sure, it has the standards you’d expect: Imperial to metric. Metric prefixes. Currency (for when you want to be sad) and those esoteric number bases that programmers love.
But […]

Final Fantasy blacksploits

Via PS3 Fanboy, baadasssss news of another Final Fantasy XIII character.

Sazh Kalroy looks to care for a tiny chocobo/chicken critter and wears a fabulous trench coat. He also has what will probably be 2009’s greatest afro in fiction.
I’ll be interested to see whether he winds up being a good character or a massive failure. The […]

Tracking the man from Chagrin Falls

You know Bill Watterson? Calvin and Hobbes and … nothing else?

Wrong. Watterson also did a variety of cartoons for his university newspaper and the Cincinatti Post, including one featuring my favorite building of all time and second favorite failed Midwestern urban revival plan (right after Pruitt-Igoe). One of the more interesting ones I found was […]

I will watch your clothes. Forever.

Are your clothing hangars somewhat drab? Salvation is at hand.

I Iove the internet.

Neologism request: Video game atrophy

This is the first time in close to a month that I’ve played Sega’s fantastic Valkyria Chronicles. It’s low-selling, rendered in a beautiful watercolor style and features John DiMaggio (Bender) in a bit part as the flamingest anti-tank gunner (features loud f-word) ever portrayed in fiction.
Tanks are the crux of my problem. I put Valkyria […]

NYT sells out to resounding yawn

The NYT sells front page ads. This isn’t as shocking as I thought it might be. Major papers all over the world do it, why not us? Major US papers have been doing this for a while. But, as the national paper of record, everything that happens at or to the New York Times is […]

Search Engine Sunday: AMERICA! RETURN TO INTERNET

Thanks, Statue of Liberation Through Christ.

Wal-Mart dropping hyphen: Yes it is. But it’s a branding change, not an official namechange. Quoth the AP’s ugliest website ever:
In a recent SEC filing, the company identified itself as Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. Thus AP is leaving unchanged, Wal-Mart.

“mongolian cat”: OH, HELL NO. Pallas’ Cat in full effect.

B reactor monument: […]

Call of Duty 4 is the most unintentionally meta game ever

Indulge me in some nerdy fawning, if you will. I didn’t care about COD4 until I realized it was already on sale in places.
I am surprised at how of portrays war. Until the fourth installment, the series had langored as another damn WWII shooter. But the careful attention to detail makes me understand why it […]